Wednesday, October 15, 2008

I am not a good person.

I try, I really do, to be a good person. I just am more often than not unsuccessful at this goal. I don't want my legacy to my son/children to be that they remember their mom being a butthead. Or worse.

It saddens me to think of Rachel Scott (who I mentioned in an earlier blog), who in 17 short years was a far better person than I have been in 30.

I get in funks like these often, where I dwell on how much I suck. They aren't happy times for me, but they're possibly even worse for Hubs, who gets so upset when I get into a gray time... and it's never just a day, but more likely to be for a week. When I get like this, I often sit and ponder how I have no REASON to be so hard on myself--my life is great, my family loves me, etc, etc.

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