Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Being mom.

My husband is so good to me. Our lives have changed, obviously, with the arrival of a new child, and he has done all he can to make it easy on me. I previously was responsible for bringing our older son to daycare, so he could get to work early. Since E was born, he has taken on the job, getting him to work much later and with more traffic plus having to get a toddler dressed, fed, teeth brushed, etc.

Since A becomes more and more Daddy's boy every day, he has taken to waking up when M starts the shower. I have tried to give M an uninterrupted shower at least by inviting A to cuddle with me. It melted my heart this morning when I was woken up by, "Mommy, I want to cuddle."

E grabbed my attention with a baby grunt and rewarded me with a giant smile.

But for all these wonderful and amazing things that go with being Mommy, am I anything more than Mommy...and housewife?

What can I bring to a conversation, other than, "Guess what I watched on netflix today?" or "Honey, I'd like to buy this for the boys," or, "I mallwalked for four hours today and didn't buy a thing!"

I'd love to go out, meet friends, have drinks, but I'm not bringing any loot into this house. How can I justify having that kind of fun when we're struggling to pay the bills? How does one meet friends, and hope to talk about something more than kids, when all her friends are far away/working and she can't figure out how to meet them without paying to join some group? And then there's the babysitter... I don't want to impose on the grandparents, but affording a $10/hour babysitter just to see a $10/ticket movie is really tough.

My problem is always that I want to have it both ways. I want to be home to raise my children, I want to have a social life, I want to have some alone time with my husband, I want to have nice things, I want to have a good time.

What's the right balance?

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